Did you ever do some exercise hoping to get stronger? If so then you may have been sore the next morning. That soreness is the “getting stronger” part you were looking for, actually. When you exercise you break muscle fibers. It’s in the time after that, if you rest and drink some water, that they reknit together, stronger than they were.
The same thing happens to us with change. During the change you’re stuck with using whatever resilience and mental strength you have. After the change, if you allow yourself some rest and recovery, that’s when you get stronger. That’s when you build the ability to handle the next change without so much difficulty or soreness.
But you know what we’re bad at? Recovery. We spoke a few weeks ago about how recovery and vacation are not the same. I was amazed at the replies I got to that email, from people rethinking their PTO, to actually putting “recover” in their calendars after big events or obligations.
Recently, a wonderful woman I know reached the one year mark after her mom died. Did she let that anniversary sneak up on her with all its feelings and memories and wishes? She did not. She scheduled a week – a WEEK people! – for navigating those things. Her family planned an event to gather and share and support each other. They spent time in recovery. So no matter what change happens next in their family or their work (and there is a beautiful new baby to celebrate but good change is also hard), they’ll be stronger and more able to handle it.
So back to you. What’s a change on the horizon? What’s an anniversary that will bring you back to a change in your mind? And what can you do to get stronger through intentional recovery? Comment – I really want to know!
All my best, slacking