{"id":11241,"date":"2024-04-03T18:33:49","date_gmt":"2024-04-03T23:33:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/?p=11241"},"modified":"2024-04-03T18:33:59","modified_gmt":"2024-04-03T23:33:59","slug":"what-if-you-changed-the-pattern","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/","title":{"rendered":"What if you changed the pattern?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the month of March, we\u2019ve been talking about how to be resilient in the face of a stress just doesn\u2019t get any better. You\u2019ve told me about frustrating family members, money stress, health issues, negative self-talk, global worries \u2013 all kinds of things that are out of your control and definitely add stress to your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have walked through an exercise to figure out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. What is the stress that\u2019s unchanging and continuously problematic?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. What is your reaction to that stress that you don\u2019t want to continue having?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. What warning signs precede that reaction?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    And today I have just one last question for you to finish this out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    How could you change the pattern?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019m definitely not talking about the outside stress \u2013 we\u2019ve determined that is something you can\u2019t control. But, as my mom of blessed memory said to me on more than one occasion, \u201cIf you can\u2019t change the problem, you have to change your reaction to the problem.\u201d This is an exercise in how you might choose to do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Some people use pretty drastic measures to change their body\u2019s and mind\u2019s reaction \u2013 like putting their face in ice water or screaming a word out loud. There are a lot of other options \u2013 and less likely to attract the attention of everyone nearby \u2013 if you\u2019d prefer. The idea is the same though, distract your brain and body from the usual pattern of stress -> reaction by sticking something in between those two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If this idea of interrupting the pattern appeals to you, there are two steps to follow:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. Figure out an interruption that will work for you (that actually makes you feel better)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. Practice inserting it after the stress but before your reaction until it becomes a habit<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Last week I mentioned that one of my unchanging stresses is the hate I get online. Antisemitic comments are growing for just about every Jew I know and I\u2019m no exception. I mentioned that I feel my reaction to this in my stomach, a sense of being unfairly \u201cin trouble\u201d from someone who has power over me but doesn\u2019t see or understand me or seems to hate me for no reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      An interruption that I know makes me feel better is to stretch \u2013 I love the feeling of moving my body in a way that doesn\u2019t hurt but does make me feel <\/em>because that sensation reminds me how strong and lucky I am. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      So my plan is to practice \u2013 every time I get a hateful DM or comment \u2013 just as soon as I get that feeling starting in my gut I\u2019ll breathe really deeply into my stomach, stand up (if I can, it\u2019s awkward on airplanes) and stretch my neck, back and arms up. Every time until it\u2019s a habit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Is there something you could practice when you start to have the reaction you don\u2019t want?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Sometimes resilience is choosing how to feel ok even in the midst of something that is not ok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      All my best,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Dr. G<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Hi! For the month of March, we\u2019ve been talking about how to be resilient in the face of a stress just doesn\u2019t get any better. You\u2019ve told me about frustrating family members, money stress, health issues, negative self-talk, global worries \u2013 all kinds of things that are out of your control and definitely add stress […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":11242,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat if you changed the pattern? - Ask Dr. G<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How could you change the pattern? Some people use pretty drastic measures to change their body\u2019s and mind\u2019s reaction. Which is yours?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What if you changed the pattern? - Ask Dr. G\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How could you change the pattern? Some people use pretty drastic measures to change their body\u2019s and mind\u2019s reaction. Which is yours?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ask Dr. G\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-04-03T23:33:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-04-03T23:33:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Doctor G\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@askdocg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@askdocg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Doctor G\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Doctor G\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6\"},\"headline\":\"What if you changed the pattern?\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-04-03T23:33:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-04-03T23:33:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/\"},\"wordCount\":529,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/\",\"name\":\"What if you changed the pattern? - Ask Dr. G\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-04-03T23:33:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-04-03T23:33:59+00:00\",\"description\":\"How could you change the pattern? Some people use pretty drastic measures to change their body\u2019s and mind\u2019s reaction. Which is yours?\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png\",\"width\":1280,\"height\":720,\"caption\":\"pattern\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"What if you changed the pattern?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/\",\"name\":\"Ask Dr. G\",\"description\":\"Speaker, Influencer & Expert in Human Resilience\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Ask Dr. G\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":128,\"caption\":\"Ask Dr. G\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/askdocg\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/askdoctorg\/\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/deborahgilboamd\",\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/askdocg\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6\",\"name\":\"Doctor G\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Doctor G\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/author\/deborahgilboa\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What if you changed the pattern? - Ask Dr. G","description":"How could you change the pattern? Some people use pretty drastic measures to change their body\u2019s and mind\u2019s reaction. Which is yours?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What if you changed the pattern? - Ask Dr. G","og_description":"How could you change the pattern? Some people use pretty drastic measures to change their body\u2019s and mind\u2019s reaction. Which is yours?","og_url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/","og_site_name":"Ask Dr. G","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/","article_published_time":"2024-04-03T23:33:49+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-04-03T23:33:59+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1280,"height":720,"url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Doctor G","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@askdocg","twitter_site":"@askdocg","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Doctor G","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/"},"author":{"name":"Doctor G","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6"},"headline":"What if you changed the pattern?","datePublished":"2024-04-03T23:33:49+00:00","dateModified":"2024-04-03T23:33:59+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/"},"wordCount":529,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png","inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/","name":"What if you changed the pattern? - Ask Dr. G","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png","datePublished":"2024-04-03T23:33:49+00:00","dateModified":"2024-04-03T23:33:59+00:00","description":"How could you change the pattern? Some people use pretty drastic measures to change their body\u2019s and mind\u2019s reaction. Which is yours?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png","width":1280,"height":720,"caption":"pattern"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/what-if-you-changed-the-pattern\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What if you changed the pattern?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/","name":"Ask Dr. G","description":"Speaker, Influencer & Expert in Human Resilience","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization","name":"Ask Dr. G","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png","width":500,"height":128,"caption":"Ask Dr. G"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/","https:\/\/x.com\/askdocg","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/askdoctorg\/","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/deborahgilboamd","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/askdocg"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6","name":"Doctor G","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Doctor G"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/askdoctorg.com"],"url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/author\/deborahgilboa\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-14.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11241"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11241"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11241\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11243,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11241\/revisions\/11243"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}