{"id":11238,"date":"2024-04-03T18:24:59","date_gmt":"2024-04-03T23:24:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/?p=11238"},"modified":"2024-04-03T18:25:33","modified_gmt":"2024-04-03T23:25:33","slug":"how-do-you-stop-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have a bunch of new folks in the community this week (hello restauranteurs and hello camp professionals!) and so here\u2019s a recap of the topic we\u2019ve focused on here for March:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to be resilient in the face of stresses that never resolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are three steps in this answer. We spent a week on step 1<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Name the stressor. You did that!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last week we started the hardest step:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Catch yourself before the response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked you to start this process by identifying the response you don\u2019t like in yourself. So if you\u2019re catching up, name the stressor that is most frustrating you and just isn\u2019t going to go away. Then name to yourself how you react to it that you wish you didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wow, did you all respond like wildfire to this question. Some people want to stop yelling, some want to stop feeling worthless. Others want to stop arguing, and still more just wish it didn\u2019t bother them since it\u2019s not changing. I promised last week that, once you\u2019ve figured out named the response you want to change, it would be far more possible to stop it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people talk these days about being triggered. That means, from a psychologic standpoint, an event that elicits a response. Triggering gives us the (false) belief that, once the trigger is pulled by someone else, we have no control over the response. Adults can learn to change the response \u2013 and kids can learn to do that also. How do you catch yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Notice your response as soon as (or before) it begins.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This noticing is a skill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This noticing takes practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Noticing that response you don\u2019t want as it\u2019s getting started \u2013 or anticipating it even before it begins \u2013 is hard! But stopping a reaction once it\u2019s gathered steam is much harder. So this week I\u2019m asking you to figure out the very first sign that you\u2019re having a reaction you don\u2019t want to choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s the first sign in your mind or body that you\u2019re going to yell, cry, storm out, throw something, insult someone, feel terrible about yourself, give up, give in? Notice that one. And then try to notice the more subtle sign that preceded that one. And maybe there\u2019s even one before that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me, the stressor I can\u2019t change is getting attacked online. The reaction I don\u2019t want is to feel powerless. So far the first thing I\u2019ve noticed is a feeling in my gut that feels the same as when I got in trouble as a kid. I\u2019m not sure if there is a sign before this one, but I\u2019ll pay attention this week and see if I can find an earlier warning sign. No doubt I\u2019ll have the opportunity because online life is just like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Comment and tell me what you notice about you. It\u2019s your expertise in\u00a0yourself\u00a0that is going to help you create the responses you want \u2013 and be the person you want to be no matter what stresses come at you. That\u2019s resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All my best,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. G<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi! We have a bunch of new folks in the community this week (hello restauranteurs and hello camp professionals!) and so here\u2019s a recap of the topic we\u2019ve focused on here for March: How to be resilient in the face of stresses that never resolve. There are three steps in this answer. We spent a week […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":11239,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself? - Ask Dr. G<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I promised last week that, once you\u2019ve figured out named the response you want to change, it would be far more possible to\u00a0stop\u00a0it.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself? - Ask Dr. G\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I promised last week that, once you\u2019ve figured out named the response you want to change, it would be far more possible to\u00a0stop\u00a0it.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ask Dr. G\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-04-03T23:24:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-04-03T23:25:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Doctor G\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@askdocg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@askdocg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Doctor G\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Doctor G\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6\"},\"headline\":\"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself?\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-04-03T23:24:59+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-04-03T23:25:33+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/\"},\"wordCount\":562,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/\",\"name\":\"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself? - Ask Dr. G\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-04-03T23:24:59+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-04-03T23:25:33+00:00\",\"description\":\"I promised last week that, once you\u2019ve figured out named the response you want to change, it would be far more possible to\u00a0stop\u00a0it.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png\",\"width\":1280,\"height\":720,\"caption\":\"Stop yourself Ask Dr. G\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/\",\"name\":\"Ask Dr. G\",\"description\":\"Speaker, Influencer & Expert in Human Resilience\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Ask Dr. G\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":128,\"caption\":\"Ask Dr. G\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/askdocg\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/askdoctorg\/\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/deborahgilboamd\",\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/askdocg\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6\",\"name\":\"Doctor G\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Doctor G\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/author\/deborahgilboa\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself? - Ask Dr. G","description":"I promised last week that, once you\u2019ve figured out named the response you want to change, it would be far more possible to\u00a0stop\u00a0it.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself? - Ask Dr. G","og_description":"I promised last week that, once you\u2019ve figured out named the response you want to change, it would be far more possible to\u00a0stop\u00a0it.","og_url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/","og_site_name":"Ask Dr. G","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/","article_published_time":"2024-04-03T23:24:59+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-04-03T23:25:33+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1280,"height":720,"url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Doctor G","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@askdocg","twitter_site":"@askdocg","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Doctor G","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/"},"author":{"name":"Doctor G","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6"},"headline":"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself?","datePublished":"2024-04-03T23:24:59+00:00","dateModified":"2024-04-03T23:25:33+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/"},"wordCount":562,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png","inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/","name":"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself? - Ask Dr. G","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png","datePublished":"2024-04-03T23:24:59+00:00","dateModified":"2024-04-03T23:25:33+00:00","description":"I promised last week that, once you\u2019ve figured out named the response you want to change, it would be far more possible to\u00a0stop\u00a0it.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png","width":1280,"height":720,"caption":"Stop yourself Ask Dr. G"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/how-do-you-stop-yourself\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How\u00a0do you\u00a0stop\u00a0yourself?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/","name":"Ask Dr. G","description":"Speaker, Influencer & Expert in Human Resilience","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#organization","name":"Ask Dr. G","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/cropped-deborah-gilboa-stress-resilience.png","width":500,"height":128,"caption":"Ask Dr. G"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AskDoctorG\/","https:\/\/x.com\/askdocg","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/askdoctorg\/","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/deborahgilboamd","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/askdocg"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/44928b9b688c1b26bc7d231dda30bbb6","name":"Doctor G","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f0fccd795f8ea78f61551172b3519b9a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Doctor G"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/askdoctorg.com"],"url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/author\/deborahgilboa\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AskDrG.com-12.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11238"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11238"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11240,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11238\/revisions\/11240"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askdoctorg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}