Hi!
You’ve probably heard the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Shenanigans!
Going through hard things doesn’t guarantee resilience and strength. And you know that because you know an adult who has been through so many hard things and it never gets any easier for them. If just going through struggle was enough, we wouldn’t know any adults like that.
Going through hard things CAN make you stronger and more resilient. For most people that transformation takes a little intentionality because three steps are required:
- Feel your feelings about the hard thing.
- Figure out your goal about the hard thing and take steps towards that goal.
- Rest and recover.
It’s that last one – rest and recover – that usually trips people up.
Building resilience is like building body muscle – you need to stress it and then rest it. Why isn’t stress enough? If you only go through the hard thing without any intentionality about navigating it, it’s like thinking you’re training for a marathon by running to catch a bus once in a while or forgetting where you parked your car and wandering around the lot looking for it. You get a tiny bit more in shape but it won’t be enough.
How do you rest your resilience? By resting your brain and telling the story of your resilience. We’re going to dive into that part next week. For today I just want to ask you – what have you been through recently that you could use intentionally to build your resilience instead of just wandering around the parking lot?
All my best,
Dr. G
