We tend to think about stressors as big changes. We get terrible news (or great news, like we talked about last week) and often that’s the case.
We are moving through our lives, doing what needs to get done and – bam! – something big happens that drops our resilience. It’s like a knife slipped and cut us enough to need stitches when we thought we were just preparing dinner. There are strategies that we can use in those moments and often we remember to do that because the change really catches our attention.
Some drops in resilience, though, don’t come from a “big cut.”
Sometimes our resilience drops because we’re dealing with the 78th small cut in a week. Or we have a “cut” that just won’t heal.
What I mean by a cut that just won’t heal is a stressor that persists with no relief in sight. It may be a terminally understaffed workforce when you’re not in a leadership position to change things. It might be dealing with a chronic illness in you or a loved one. It might be a learning disability you’ve learned to navigate but will always be with you. It may be a relationship with someone in your workplace that is a constant irritant but doesn’t improve despite all your strategies.
This “slow bleed” of resilience can harm us even more than the big impact event. That’s because we take this as normal. We don’t recruit strategies or seek support or look for new ways to handle it – it just becomes background noise to us, the status quo. And, as we’ve talked about, our brains are suckers for the status quo, even when it’s not what’s best for us.
So what do you do? First you notice. That slow bleed may not be life threatening, but it’s not good for you. It can actually be dangerous! Next week we’ll talk about how to handle it but for now I want to ask you – do you have a resilience slow bleed? Comment and tell me.
All my best,
Dr. G
