Hi! story
Thank you for all your amazing stories about your holiday experiences! You told me about frustrating relatives that you handled with better boundaries. You explained fractured families and how you hope to handle it next year. You told me about new grandbabies and departed loved ones and the hopes and memories you’re focused on creating. All of these stories make you – and me – stronger.
Reading stories of frustration, sadness and struggle don’t make us stronger on their own. Understanding what you felt, learned, discovered, plan or process, however, does make the reader – and the writer – more resilient.
When you hear about someone’s adversity and how they navigated, even thrived in the face of that adversity, you may think “Well, sure. They explain it that way because they’re so resilient.” And that might be true of that person. But I have great news!
Narrative and resilience create a positive loop.
Your resilience does help you find something useful in the problems you face. Finding something useful in the problems you face does make you more resilient.
And it doesn’t matter where you enter that cycle.
If your resilience is at a low, ask yourself this question “What did I learn?” No matter how discouraged, angry, isolated you feel, finding one lesson to take from your current obstacle will build your resilience back a bit. Every time you tell the story of your struggle – to yourself or someone else – include something you learned, something you can DO that points you in the direction you want to go. In this way, your narrative will make you more resilient.
If your resilience is high, make sure you incorporate it in your story of that challenge. This will bolster your positive neurochemicals and help your brain feel less at risk in the face of this challenge, which will make the challenge smaller for you.
You have more power than you might think, even during hard times.
Want to practice? Comment please, and tell me a story of a challenge!
All my best,
Dr. G
