My 8th grader wanted to quit basketball. “I absolutely hate this, I am not a competitive person. I have DREAD about going, this brings me no joy. Why should I keep doing something that makes me so unhappy when I could do something else physical?” She was on the team last year last year. Hated it. We told her she had to do it again for the physical activity, but this is her response.
D, in PA
D, it’s time to stop beating the basketball horse. And congratulate yourselves on a really well-spoken 14 year old!
I applaud your values, and your involvement. I agree with making physical fitness and teamwork a part of your daughter’s life skill education! I support your desire to teach her not to be a quitter.
Now let her quit!
There are important life skills your daughter can learn by changing course.
- To listen to her own body and emotions.
- To evaluate her experiences and spend time where it benefits her goals.
- To come to you in a respectful way, when she feels you’re being unreasonable.
Now help her “quit” with a responsible attitude.
- She should talk to her coach, and “give notice.” She should ask the coach if it would help for her to stay on the team for another two or three games.
- Apologize to her teammates in a meaningful way.
- Find a replacement activity that meets her need for fitness.
- Consider other teams she might try out for in the next 6 months if you all believe she needs that experience.
She’s a good kid who hates basketball. Show her how much you respect her by respecting that truth!