There are a lot of important conversations happening in the world right now about who deserves which rights and whose job it is to protect those rights when they exist.
I like important conversations, but I recognize that the root of many of these conversations is fear. Fear that people are getting less safe, especially marginalized people. Fear that the gap between empathy felt and actions taken is widening. And fear that we won’t be able to protect our people, however we define that term.
The desire to protect is admirable. But protecting is somewhat self-centering, and time-limited as well. Let me start at home as I try to explain what I mean.
I have four sons. From the moment I knew of their existence it was my desire – and responsibility – to protect them. When they were tiny, protecting them was my top priority. As they’ve grown, though, they’re transitioning to people I expect to be able to protect themselves and even others. They’re all bigger than me now, and stronger physically. They’re all moving around the world alone and in groups and I am not, don’t want to be, able to protect them from most challenges. Most people would agree that sometime between tiny and now it was my obligation to make sure they gathered the knowledge, skills and confidence to protect themselves and others. To do that, I had to stop protecting them before I wanted to and focus on strengthening them.
This week I got a question (when you call the website “Ask Doctor G” you get questions!) about protecting staff from close-minded customers. And while I admire the instinct to protect, I asked this person a question I want to ask you:
What if your job isn’t to protect people?
The world is not currently uncomplicating itself. And I’d argue (and might, in some other email) that we’ve given a generation or two of people the idea that they should be protected by others at all costs, that is their parents/teachers/coaches/bosses main job to protect them from disagreement and discomfort. But that’s not possible.
So let’s think and talk about what we can do to focus on strengthening our people instead of putting all our energy into protecting the. Do you disagree? Tell me why! Do you agree? Tell me what you do or might do to make this a reality in your work or your world!
All my best,
Dr. G
