Last week on the Think Tank on Resilience we tackled a topic I have been confused about for a while.
What does “professional” look like in mid-21st century?
The resilience question for the episode was around family stress bleeding over into the workplace and our conversation centered around leadership. Both my guests spoke of the need to be authentic and also professional. So I asked: what does that mean?
For people who came of age before this century began, professional meant, in a word, stoic. Not showing emotion, keeping one’s personal life out of the workplace.
In this day and age, that attitude from a leader is considered fake, even damaging. How can the people who work in your organization believe that you care about them as humans if you never share your own human experience? Of note, if your answer to that is “I don’t care about them as humans” I want you to start seriously planning your retirement because this decade is not going to vibe well with that outlook.
The concerns, though, of emotional transparency, are real. As we spoke about a few weeks ago, work isn’t therapy and boundaries are necessary to success. So what is a leader – or an employee – to do?
Give context without catharsis.
When you’re going through something hard or your work self is impacted by emotions, the professional approach is to give some information to your colleagues, boss or team about what you’re experiencing. That will allow them to understand that it really is “me, not you” and to give you some grace. Additionally, they are more likely to own their struggles and errors.
However, work is not the place for a full emotional meltdown, whether that looks like sobbing or yelling or complete withdrawal. You are responsible for self-regulation. Professional behavior isn’t an absence of emotion. It’s experiencing your emotions and also being able to communicate respectfully, hold yourself accountable for your own behaviors and shift your focus back to work.
Resilience is hard, y’all.
What are your thoughts on letting people you work with “in” while maintaining your reputation and your professional success?
All my best,
Dr. G
