Hi! midlife crisis
Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 54 years old and I’m pretty excited about it. My fifties have been as good as I thought they might be. As a dear friend about thirty years older than me once explained, the older a woman gets the easier it is for her to live her actual priorities.
I want that for everyone.
The whole point of resilience is to look at each change that comes your way and think “Who do I want to be in the face of this? How do I get through this towards the life I want?” This thinking has led a lot of people I know to make some pretty big changes in their forties and fifties.
I was warned, most of us were, about the damage a midlife crisis can do. And I’ve seen that happen. Someone thinks “Yikes! Look how many years are behind me and I don’t know how many might be left, is THIS the life I really want?”
I’ve had the honor of taking care of many people towards the end of their life. And the result I’ve seen of not asking these hard questions and acting on the answers is, unfortunately, deathbed regrets.
If they use the epiphanies that follow as an excuse to bail on their responsibilities (like raising their kids) then that is bad, for sure. But if they use the epiphanies that follow that question to pivot their reality towards the best version of themselves and their future that they can imagine… that can be really good.
We can be people of character who take care of our dependents and are compassionate to others while still reassessing our path and making changes to better aim towards who we mean to be.
The answer is probably not one big midlife crisis, but a series of questions, answers and adjustments. Don’t be afraid to ask – and answer – “Am I aimed towards the life I want?”
And if you’d like to comment and tell me about your questions, answers and adjustments, I’m always interested!
All my best,
Dr. G
