“Stretched too thin!” “Pulled in a million directions.” “Burning the candle at both ends.”
There are a lot of ways we reference the idea of competing priorities and they all sound like medieval torture.
It’s easy for us to feel that competing priorities can’t help but wear down our stamina, lead to overwhelm and drain our resilience. I totally get this. As a mom of four kids (with only 6 years between the oldest and the youngest) they often felt like my competing priorities! Until I learned an important lesson of resilience:
Multiple priorities describes exactly the life I want.
When someone puts all the energy into work or focuses on family to the exclusion of everything else or gets obsessed by a cause we immediately recognize how unhealthy that can be. As a society we’ve learned in the past few generations how valuable and strengthening it is to have time for our work, for a partner, for kids if we have them, for passions and interests, for rest. That means learning how to navigate multiple priorities.
The scaffold that will help you push multiple boulders uphill (we really need more upbeat metaphors for this, don’t we?) is this:
- Name the struggle. Speaking out loud – even just to yourself – that you are dealing with multiple, competing priorities will help you focus on solutions.
- Check in with your priorities. Are each of the things you’re dealing with actually important to you? Do these stresses each deserve your energy? If no, refocus on the ones that do.
- Decide on one next step for each. You don’t have to understand where you’ll find the time and energy to handle all of everything. You need to decide the next thing you’ll do towards each goal.
You likely do want to have a full life – and that means multiple, often competing priorities. Where are your priorities pulling you in different directions right now? Can you figure out the next step for each?
All my best,
Dr. G
