I asked you if you had any “slow bleeds” in your life that are draining your resilience and wow did you ever answer!
Slow bleeds in the form of loved ones with big mental health challenges, co-workers who don’t step up, bosses that over-promise and under-deliver, marriages that haven’t been strong for years, markets that change constantly, economic struggles, a sick pet…
So what do you do?
Most of us try to “put a bandaid over it” and keep moving. But that doesn’t work. If you can’t do something to stop the bleeding or treat it another way, the bandaid will just get soaked and fall off.
I know that for most of these situations, there is no way to stop the bleeding. You wouldn’t ever stop caring for that loved one, you may not be able to control who your co-workers are or how they behave, you may not be able to afford a different job or move into a new market (or a different country!).
So how can you handle these slow bleeds a different way? There are three pillars to support that you can choose:
- Address this issue directly by learning more, trying new strategies, having a meeting with your boss or team or family or doctor(depending only on where the “bleeding” is occurring) and actively search for new ways to approach what is happening.
- Recruit support. Maybe you have to be the primary person facing or handling this issue but that doesn’t mean you have to handle everything alone. Can you get some help with other tasks? Can you have a set time to talk to someone trustworthy every week or month about how you’re doing and what else might help?
- Keep the rest of you as healthy as possible. You have a lot of strategies for handling the stressors that are slowly draining you. But are you remembering to strengthen yourself? Sleep, water, healthy food, outside air, a few minutes to yourself, hanging out with a friend, petting your pet, listening to music, prayer, exercise – you know what heals you. Are you bothering to do any of that?
The first strategy – addressing this issue head on instead of assuming “everyone already knows and there’s no point talking about it” is the hardest. What ideas would you offer a friend in your situation?
All the best,
Dr. G
