Hi! holiday
The holiday season certainly can bring a lot of hits to your resilience. So I wanted to take a minute to point out a boost that we all get.
And that boost is common experiences.
A common experience is an event or situation that a lot of people have gone through or can relate to and that gives them a way to connect. For example, if you’re US-based, you’ve likely asked folks this week “How was your Thanksgiving?” Or you’ve started an email with “Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.” We often, when encountering a work colleague or an acquaintance, scan our memory to see what we think they’ve done recently that we can identify with, so that we can make a connection.
December and January are filled with these relatable moments – from holidays to family time to weather obstacles to New Years plans – whatever we celebrate or don’t we still have some common ground to explore in our conversations. And by asking and sharing a laugh or an eyeroll or just a look of agreement over the craziness of the season, we strengthen our connections. In a time in which many people feel divided, partisan, even scared to broach topics they perceive to be risky in some ways, these common experiences are even more valuable.
Even better? Each of these casual conversations is a great opportunity to build your own resilience with one simple choice:
What you choose to answer. You don’t have total control over whether or not you enjoyed your Thanksgiving or got stuck in the snow or didn’t have a New Years party to attend. You DO have total control over the narrative you create around your experience. So if you talk only about how awful it was, or boring, or expensive or frustrating you will likely feel a drop in your resilience. If you add what you learned, what you plan to do next time, what you are doing to recover, or just allow yourself to really receive some empathy for the discomfort? Well now you’re not only building connection, you’re also building your own resilience!
So, the next time you have a chance to connect over a common experience, remember that it’s not just a way to pass the time, it’s a great tool. And here comes one now…
How are your plans going for the holiday season? Comment and tell me, I really want to know!
All my best,
Dr. G
