She missed some good teaching opportunities: to be accepting of her own body, to learn how to deal with (these not-yet-encountered) mean people, and about cultural norms in different societies.

The mother has now essentially told her daughter that there is something about her body worth being insecure about. And, with this kind of example, I would bet that the daughter (only 9!!!) will grow up to have many more insecurities about her appearance.

And cleanliness, really? Are shaved legs really cleaner? Certainly not.

Most of my disagreement is with the fact that it’s the mother – NOT the 9-year-old daughter – who is initiating this practice (which is how the scenario is presented in the letter). Were she responding to the daughter’s fears and helping her work through her own insecurities, I wouldn’t see this as mother-fear-driven, and could definitely imagine how the conversations around shaving – and possibly shaving itself – could be positive for the daughter.

But it’s not.

I read this as Mom Pushing Own Insecurities Onto Very Young Daughter, and respectfully disagree with the response that was given — especially the ending. She has undermined her sense of self-respect and resilience, NOT capitalized on an opportunity to help her daughter bolster these very important pieces of a healthy emotional foundation.