Comments on: When a Child’s Guilt Goes Overboard http://askdoctorg.com/2012/05/14/when-a-childs-guilt-goes-overboard/ Helping parents to raise children they respect and admire. Ask your parenting question to Dr. G! Fri, 17 May 2013 20:20:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Dr. G http://askdoctorg.com/2012/05/14/when-a-childs-guilt-goes-overboard/#comment-1187 Dr. G Thu, 17 May 2012 23:52:10 +0000 http://askdoctorg.com/?p=1984#comment-1187 Melissa, that is a really beautiful way of explaining the good his attitude can achieve. Thank you.

]]> By: Dr. G http://askdoctorg.com/2012/05/14/when-a-childs-guilt-goes-overboard/#comment-1186 Dr. G Thu, 17 May 2012 23:51:18 +0000 http://askdoctorg.com/?p=1984#comment-1186 Carol, that is a great idea!

]]> By: Melissa Werbow http://askdoctorg.com/2012/05/14/when-a-childs-guilt-goes-overboard/#comment-1185 Melissa Werbow Thu, 17 May 2012 18:21:09 +0000 http://askdoctorg.com/?p=1984#comment-1185 It seems to me your son has misplaced his focus from the behavior to the punishment. It seems that punishment is not changing his behavior but that he is very cued-in to changes in your relationship. This is a good thing. Punishment is just a way to get kids to care about a behavior as much as you do. Perhaps it would help to focus less on punishment for problematic behavior and more on why/how that behavior affects the people he loves and to show him how even when he exhibits problematic behavior, he can correct the matter through his positive behavior (an apology and then not repeating the behavior) rather than using self punishment to try to correct. That helps him see that by controlling his behavior, he can maintain a positive relationship with you.

]]> By: Carol http://askdoctorg.com/2012/05/14/when-a-childs-guilt-goes-overboard/#comment-1184 Carol Thu, 17 May 2012 15:58:38 +0000 http://askdoctorg.com/?p=1984#comment-1184 Perhaps when you determine what his punishment is you should also tell him what he should do at the end of the time or the extent of the punishment. Such as “go to your room for 5 minutes, and at the end of that time my kitchen timer will buzz. When it buzzes I want you to come out and we will talk and I’ll have a hug for you.” Then if he does not come out go in and talk about positive things as you gently walk him out of the room.

I agree with Dr. G’s suggestions. They are all good and can be used at the opportune time.

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